It seems like everywhere you turn these days, someone is preaching at you to have more gratitude. That if you have more gratitude, you will somehow magically have a better, happier life. Write down 3 things you’re thankful for every day, they say. It will turn your life around, they say. Is this true, though?
Well, I am here to tell you that it is true. Having gratitude can absolutely improve your life and make you feel at least marginally happier. In the world we live in today, even making our lives feel marginally happier sounds like an impossible task. The key is to experience gratitude correctly.
A lot of experts recommend having a gratitude journal where you write down 3 things you are grateful every morning or every night before you go to bed. I have tried this approach. I would write down: 1) family, 2) cat, 3) food. The next night might look like: 1) friends, 2) hot water, 3) air conditioning. And so on. Yes, I am grateful for all of the things I wrote down, but I have to be honest, just writing out a list of things like I’m jotting down what I need to pick up from the grocery store…did…not…help…me. I didn’t see any benefits of my “gratitude journal”. It felt like a waste of my time. I certainly didn’t feel any happier. I felt like I couldn’t even do a gratitude journal correctly, which only added to my self-esteem.
I decided to try a different approach. Instead of writing down 3 things every night, I narrowed my focus to one singular event, person, or thing that was the highlight of my day. I then used my gratitude journal to write in detail about this one source of gratitude. For example, instead of just jotting down the word cat in amongst a list of other good things, I wrote entirely about my cat and why I am grateful for him. See my example below:
Tucker is asleep beside me as I write in this journal. I am so very grateful that he came into my life. He is gray and white and oh so fluffy. I had lost my cat Milo about 3 months before getting Tucker. Losing Milo was devastating. I didn’t think I had it in me to get another cat, because I never wanted to feel that pain again. My family knew better, though, and 3 months later I found myself relenting to my cousin’s request to adopt one of her new kittens. I was to pick a kitten from a litter of 5. After holding and loving on each kitten, Mr. Tucker climbed me like a tree, curled up in the crook of my neck, and promptly went to sleep.
“Well, she chose me,” I told my family. Yes, I said she, because at the time I was told that Tucker was a girl and I introduced her to everyone as Emma Kate. It wasn’t until a trip to the vet where I discovered that HE needed a name change. Ha. So, now I have the fattest, fluffiest, most handsome cat in the world. He loves to curl up beside my head when I’m reading in bed, sit on my lap when I’m watching TV, and gets very jealous if my laptop takes his place. I often find myself balancing my laptop on a pillow to the side so Tucker can rightfully claim his lap. A few days ago, I had a terrible headache, and Tucker wouldn’t leave my side. The furthest he got was atop the couch cushion where I was laid out on the couch trying to nap with an ice pack at the back of my skull.
I will be grateful forever that he chose to be my happy little boy. He has brought nothing but joy and love to me. So, thank you, Tucker.
Gratitude is short for great attitude. So, which gratitude entry do you think actually changed my attitude and made me feel…I don’t know…grateful? I assure it was the last one. Did it take longer to write? Yes. Did it take more effort and energy? Yes. Did it make me feel happier when I was finished? Yes. Was it worth it? Absolutely.
If you find that the typical gratitude journal is just not helping you, I challenge you to try this new approach. Narrow your focus. Make it a game to pick out the one good thing that is worthy of your time and energy and attention, so that you actually have more gratitude and therefore more happiness.
Until next time, I hope you have wonderful and joy filled day!
A Spoonful of Joy 